


Who lives, who dies

by barbossa2319



Category: Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24690289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbossa2319/pseuds/barbossa2319
Summary: Requested on Tumblr.Anonymous said:Hey! I’ve recently gotten back into the clone wars and Rex has stolen my heart 😂 would you be willing to do a Rex x Jedi!Reader but with a bit of angst where it’s older Rex in the Rebels series and he talks about the reader to Ezra? I hope that made sense 😂
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 45





	Who lives, who dies

**Author's Note:**

> Requested on Tumblr.  
> Anonymous said:   
> Hey! I’ve recently gotten back into the clone wars and Rex has stolen my heart 😂 would you be willing to do a Rex x Jedi!Reader but with a bit of angst where it’s older Rex in the Rebels series and he talks about the reader to Ezra? I hope that made sense 😂

Rex never thought that he would be serving again since the Clone Wars. But times were changing and ever since the Ghost Crew came to him for help, he thought long and hard about joining a cause like the Rebellion. And when he did, it made him feel almost happy that he was doing something purposeful again. Something he’s _choosing_ to be a part of. But at the same time, whenever he went on missions and saw rebels dying, ones he grew newly acquainted with, it brought back tons of memories he spent so much time on Seelos trying to repress.

Memories of his dying brothers, of Anakin and Ahsoka, and especially of you. Which was why he was outside of Chopper Base. Sleep eluded him right now and on those days when couldn’t sleep, he went outside to sit underneath Atollon’s night sky to think.

He sat on one of the crates by the shooting range and pulled out a hologram. With shaky hands, he turns it on and a tentative smile falls onto his lips at the image he sees.

It was a hologram of him—his younger self—and you, smiling at each other. Judging by the clothes you both wore, someone could look at the hologram and never guess that he was a soldier and you were a Jedi knight. But you were more than just a Jedi; you were his love. His everything. And this hologram, Rex thought, was his most prized possession. Because showed it a time in his life when he was in utter bliss. A feeling he would never have again.

Rex felt tears begin to build up as he gazes over your face again for the thousandth time. The light in your (e/c) eyes as you look to Rex and the crinkle on the edges of your eyes as you smiled. He remembered the day this hologram was taken. You convinced Rex to join you on a night around Coruscant. You had been the one to take the image without his knowing and you gave him a copy of it to keep. Since then, he has kept it with him at all times, as it is the only thing he has to remember you by.

He blinks the wetness in his eyes away. How he wished things turned out different. If only he believed Fives. If only he didn’t answer that incoming call from the Chancellor. If only they got out of the blazing cruiser fast enough. If only—

_CRASH!_

Rex immediately clicked the hologram shut and reached for his blaster, aiming at whatever made the crates behind him, he noted, fall over.

“Whose there” He growled. “Show yourself.”

It was probably those Atollon spiders again. How did they get inside the base?

“Relax! It’s just me!” said a panicked voice behind the crates. “Ezra!”

Rex sighed in relief. It was just the kid.

“What are you doing here?” asked Rex in exasperation, giving the boy a stern glare.

“I would ask you the same thing,” Ezra replied with raised brow. “Seeing as how you’re just…sitting here, doing what exactly?”

“ _That_ is none of your business,” said Rex sternly.

“Okay then,” he said sheepishly. “Well I guess my being here is none of your business so—”

_“Ezra.”_

“Alright,” he groaned. “I came out here to practice my lightsaber forms, see.” He waved his lightsaber around as proof. “And well…”

Ezra stared at the ground in shame. “And then I saw you by yourself a-and I didn’t mean to spy on you. I was—”

“Kid,” sighed Rex, feeling a slight tingle of warmth reach his face. “It’s alright.”

Rex shouldn’t feel embarrassed. It’s not like he could in trouble for possessing the only image of you he had. And it’s not like Ezra understood the context of what he saw.

He opened his mouth to say something but stopped seeing the way Ezra looked at him. Something akin to concern? Pity? The young boy looked as if he had more to say.

“Something wrong?”

“No—it’s,” Ezra said hesitantly. “That person—in that hologram— I know them.”

Rex furrowed his brows in confusion. “How?” You died before Ezra was born.

“Kanan has these holo-recordings he’s been showing me,” Ezra began. “They’re mainly Jedi Knights teaching how to do a certain form. I saw them teaching a session on how to do the _Soresu_ form, their name, I think, is—”

“Jedi Knight (Y/N) (L/N),” Rex finished hoarsely. The first time in a while since he had said your name out loud.

“You don’t have to answer this,” Ezra said with a curious tone in his voice. “But, did you work with them?”

Rex smiled, recalling all the adventures you both had. “I did, in fact (Y/N) was part of Torrent Company.”

He sat back down on the crate and so did Ezra. “I met them a little after I met Commander Tano.” He chuckled. “They came in to save our forces after the disastrous stunt we pulled off in Felucia. Had they not came in to rescue us, we would have died trying to fend off those clankers.”

Rex, in his mind, remembered it all. You coming out of nowhere with gunships, screaming at Anakin to fall back. He recalled Skywalker being almost stunned at your presence.

_“What are you doing all the way out here (Y/N),”_ Rex remembered Anakin asking you as they got inside the gunships.

_“Here to save your ass,” you commented back. “Only this time from a battlefield instead of from Master Kenobi.”_

_Anakin chuckled. “Always with the quip remarks.”_

_“We both trained together since we were kids,” you stated with an arched brow. “Why are you surprised?”_

_“So you’re a general now?” he asked._

_“No,” you answered with a knowing grin. “But I am assigned to one.”_

_“No way!”_

_You threw your head back and laughed. “You better believe it.”_

_“Well then, I should introduce to my second in command, other than you,” he said, smirking at the offended huff you made. “Meet Captain Rex.”_

_He remembered you reaching out to him as you hung to the straps of the gunship to shake his hand. “Hello Captain, I’m (Y/N) (L/N), but please call me (Y/N).”_

_He was so entranced by your smile that he almost forgot you were speaking to him._

_“Nice to meet you (Y/N),” he said, silently thanking the force that he had his helmet on so you couldn’t see the tinge of red in his cheeks. “And please, call me Rex.”_

Rex smiled at the memory. “(Y/N) was a very clever Jedi, but most importantly they were compassionate. They treated us clones like equals and was always there to listen and understand our grievances.”

“They sound amazing,” Ezra replied. “I would’ve loved to meet them.”

Rex paused. “I think (Y/N) would’ve loved to train you and certainly wouldn’t hesitate for a second to be apart of this rebellion if they knew what became of the Republic we both swore to protect.”

His smile disappeared. He really wished you were here to see this.

Ezra looked to Rex with sadness. He could feel the clone veteran’s grief so strongly and could also feel his love for you; just like how he could feel the love between his parents as a kid before the Empire took that all away.

“They didn’t make because if the order did they?”

“No…” said Rex hoarsely. “If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t even be here…”

_Everything fell apart after Mandalore._

_He had no idea he was going to be forced to kill (Y/N) and Ahsoka by just one simple command that was enough to overpower his senses._

_While Ahsoka managed to escape the blaster fire from him and his men, he was relieved to learn after his chip was removed that you were in your quarters when the order happen, giving you time to hide in the vents._

_He was so afraid that his men might’ve gotten you. But he could see the fear and realization on your face when he woke up from his chip removal._

_“Fives…” you said in a hushed voice as you three ran to open the hangar doors. “He was right about everything.”_

_Rex reached for your hand and gave a hard squeeze. “I know, but it weren’t for him, I would’ve killed…”_

_He couldn’t say it. The thought of you or Ahsoka being executed out of his own will, he—_

_He just didn’t want to imagine it._

_But things worsened. The cruiser was beginning to break apart as they got out of hyperspace and the cruiser was on its way to crashing on a moon._

_His men. His brothers who he loved so much, were all waiting for them at the main hangar. Willing to kill themselves trying to complete the mission._

_Tears were streaming down his face as he argued this realization to you and Ahsoka._

_You knew more than anyone how he felt. Removing his helmet, you pressed you forehead against his in affection. “Rex…it’s okay. I know your brothers. Ahsoka and I know that they are good soldiers and this isn’t their fault.”_

_He knew they might not have a chance in finding a ship and leaving, but he went with the plan of trying to reason with Jesse, his little vod, on not killing you or Ahsoka. But Rex already knew his brother was long gone, lost somewhere in his mind. He was desperate when it didn’t work and they kept firing at them._

_To add to the ongoing mess of things, their chance of escape was taken away by Maul when he took the last remaining shuttle._

_They were reaching the moon’s surface rapidly and running out of time._

_“Wait,” you called out to Rex. “I see another unharmed ship. There!” You pointed to the Y-wing bomber._

_You deflected the blaster shots away as you three ran towards it. Using the force, you wasted no time in pushing Rex towards the ship and jumping your way over._

_“There’s only two seats!” exclaimed Rex in panic. “What do we do?”_

_Your heart seized at the problem. You looked over at Ahsoka who you realized didn’t make it over to the ship, still trying to hold the clones back. She wasn’t going to last long._

_“Rex…” you called out, voice strained._

_He looked to you, face contorted in anxiety. “What is it?”_

_You took his helmet off so you could stare at his face one last time. “You know that I love you, right?” you said breathlessly. “More than anything, more than life itself…”_

_“Y/N stop—“_

_You kissed him, one last time, savoring his lips as tears leaked from your eyes. “I’m so sorry.”_

_You shut the cockpit canopy before he could stop you. “I hope one day you can forgive me.”_

_He was screaming your name and it broke your heart in two. Rex tried opening the canopy but it was too late._

_“Ahsoka go!” You force pushed the clones out of the way and continued to deflect your lightsaber against their firing._

_“No, I’m not—”_

_You didn’t let her finish. Using your remaining strength, you push your friend towards the ship. Rex felt the cruiser begin to tilt, watching how it made you lose your balance and fall towards the opening of the hangar. The cruisers billowing speed and harsh winds caused the Y-wing bomber to fly out before Rex and Ahsoka had a chance to help you._

_As Rex gained control of the ship, he maneuvered through the rubble trying to see if you were alive, possibly hanging onto debris. He didn’t see you. Instead moments later, he found your mangled body in the debris along with his brothers._

_He fell to his knees, gathering your body in his arms and wept. His watery eyes gazed at your form, noting the blood matted on your head that must’ve been from something blunt that collided with your head. The dried blood from your nose and mouth. And the most haunting thing of all was your (e/c) eyes, staring lifelessly at the sky._

_It only made him cry out in anguish._

_Ahsoka watched from afar as her friend mourn, silently crying at everything that went down. She felt the connection between her and her master die and now, you were gone too. To save her and Rex._

_Rex reached a shaky hand over to close your eyes. He didn’t want to leave you here, but what choice did he have? Someone was going to come to evaluate the site soon. They had to leave._

_Rex and Ahsoka took one last look at the burial site they made and left with a creeping feeling of numbness. When they went into orbit, Rex stared at the moon below while reaching for his necklace that held the hologram of you he hid under his shirt._

_Pressing the device to his lips he whispered, “I love you… and I forgive you, my cyare”_

_They made the jump to hyperspace, uncertain of what their future would entail now._

***

“Did you ever go back to the crash site?” Ezra asked a little after Rex finished talking.

“No,” sighed Rex. “The place for all I know could be swarming with Imperial probe droids or they probably took whatever they deemed important.”

Ezra reached over to put a hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. “I might not know (Y/N), but from what you’ve told me, I think they would be proud of where you are now.”

Rex smiled at the young Jedi. “I’d like to think so too.”

_***_

All beings become one with the Force after death.

That’s what you’ve been told along with all Jedi.

Yet you didn’t feel like you were apart of the Force. Sure you could feel it binding you, but it was nothing like you’ve imagined. You thought that after death, you wouldn’t recall your past life, but you did. Or that you wouldn’t be aware of anything that’s happening in the universe.

You are able to see and acknowledge what’s become of this universe. And you're horrified of it. You’re horrified of what you know.

The only thing you’re thankful for is that the one’s you cared about made it out alive.

Ahsoka, you gathered, is following a path you knew suited her apart from the Jedi ways and you couldn’t be even more happy for her.

As for Rex, you never left his side after death, just not in the way you expected. He couldn’t see you. No one could unless they were Jedi. But that only happened when you wanted to be seen.

But you’ve watched over him after all this time and watched his struggle in adjusting to a new life as a free man. That didn’t mean you couldn’t feel his guilt though. His guilt that he lived whereas his brothers didn’t and lastly, his guilt over you.

You were filled with sadness whenever he grieved over you, like what he was doing now. Sitting by himself, staring at the hologram you gifted him.

You hated that you couldn’t talk to him or that you couldn’t give him some sort of comfort. There was so much you wanted to say to him, but oh how you couldn’t wait to speak to him to again. It’s only a matter of time.

For now, all you can do now is be in his presence, wishing he knew you were here.


End file.
